People are an asset. That’s why we all believe in being surrounded by people of value and real worth because there’s no underestimating what contribution they can make to our lives and later success. The right kind of people step into our lives in one instant and our lives are forever changed. But unfortunately, not everyone we let into our lives will have this same positive impact. Indeed, some will prove to be real liabilities and can erode the quality of your life if you don’t break camp with them just in time. Wherever you find them, you shouldn’t ever bond with them. Here are 10 worst types of people you should always avoid.
(1) People Who Belittle Your Dreams
There are all kinds of people with equally offensive traits that make this list, but there’s a reason why folks who trivialize other people’s dreams top it. I could liken folks with this key trait to real life murderers because in reality, they do almost as much harm. But the actual unforgivable crime they commit is the one where they send you and your precious dreams to the dark alley of self-doubt and low self-esteem. They are annoyingly unrepentant, scornful and condescending folks who want to shoot down your dreams and kill your aspiring spirit. Usually, they are the highly insecure, under-achieving boasters with infinitesimal dreams who might feel intimidated by your bigger dreams. And often, this prompts them to put anyone whom they consider “a threat” in their place by attacking their dreams. And if you allow them, they can do a real job on your dreams. Have nothing to do with such people.
(2) People Who Disrespect You.
I had this old sadistic acquaintance who really got a kick out of humiliating any hapless person who had the guts to apply for work at his office. And due to this behavior, none of his employees ever lasted with him for more than a month. Everyone knew that. Whenever he needed to amuse himself, he would call them out for no reason and say some of the harshest things he ever knew to them before everyone. It was humiliating to have someone talk to you that way. And what a sucker he was. Of course, people of this kind are on the extreme and often rare to find. But you might run into the more common types like those who don’t value your time, are rude and insulting, treat you with disdain or laugh at you in public. And let’s not forget the snubs! Convention often preaches you ignore such treatments. But don’t take it lying down. They’ll bruise your ego and if you don’t address it headlong, it might snowball into a perpetual cycle of hate and abuse. If it’s your boss, stand up to them and demand for a better treatment. But if it continues, then it’s pack-up-and-leave time. And what if it’s an acquaintance or a friend? Then do with them as you would a toxic friend.
(3) All Time Wasters
I’d call anyone who doesn’t know the urgency and importance of time and living a “fraud” as is their personal philosophy. You might be surprised at why I’d be so critical of them. It’s simple! They confuse existing with living. But the call of life is a call to live and make every moment count for something, not exist passively. You have to be in this journey because you have a destination in mind, not for the heck of it. But you only get one real shot at it before you run out of time. It’s why you have to wake up each day with your own personal compass and spend every hour figuring how you’ll reach port. But quite the opposite, all time wasters operate under the assumption that they’ll get a second chance at living (maybe in another life) and then they go about killing their time. If you’ve got pals who share this view on life, you had better not get involved with them. Otherwise, you might get infected with their time-wasting habits. It’s contagious.
(4) Those Who Speak ill of Others.
“I’ll speak ill of no man and speak all the good I know of everybody” says Benjamin Franklin. But all gossips would have none of it. No, they’ll speak as they damn well please! Not only do gossips tick all boxes for toxic friends, they can help you lose faith in others with a well-timed slur. They might feel nervous enough about not confronting you with anything slanderous they’ve heard about you but are bold enough to hash it over behind your back. Speak of stabbing someone in the back! And if you think they are your allies because you can all sit down and bitch about others, then you are mistaken. Just so you now, gossips don’t have a moral code and that means the secrets you confide in them are simply fair game. And just as they discuss others with you, your intimate secrets might also be the topic of discussion as soon they can find someone with “itching ears”. Don’t take up a gossip on their offer to discuss others. Shun them at all cost.
(5) Anyone Who Is Nosy
How to Win Friends and Influence People is unquestionable the all-time go-to bestseller for the timeless advice it offers that’s useful in just about every facet of our daily socialization. Mr. Carnegie did quite a fantastic job in the way he unveiled our once often masked inward human nature – the desire to feel appreciated. It’s inside every one of us. You really feel like Somebody when someone gives you their attention or takes an undivided interest in you. But while many of us are using this amazing clue for good, to build more meaningful connections with others, the suckers amongst us are using it too to catch their next victims. They ask you nosy, impertinent questions just to flatter you into revealing your deepest secrets and then they use it against you. Just don’t fall for it. If anyone you just met is asking too many intimate details about you, like where you work, how much you make, and your other Very personal details, don’t mistake them for great conversationalists. For all we know, they might just be out to steal your identity. Run for it!
(6) Avoid Dishonest People
For some time now, there’s been this ongoing debate about whether honesty is always the best policy. But this argument is uncalled for, if not fallacious. Perhaps, it’s a reflection of our slowly decadent moral values where society is becoming more and more at home with dishonesty but shocked by honesty. I believe a discussion of morality should never be about the extremes, but should rather begin with it’s initial violators because they are the ones who do the most damage. Not whether honesty is always the best policy, but whether should dishonesty always be the first policy. We each have a right to be told the truth however unpleasant. Dishonest people disregard this sacred right of ours when they choose to create multiple versions of the truth and then tell us the one they feel is best. Wherever you find them, dishonest people often make the worst people. In friendships, they are disloyal, in relationships, they lie and cheat, in the workplace, they steal. If you run into such people, just look the other way.
(7) Close Minded People
Well, this ones answer to that age-old proverb of “can’t teach an old dog a new trick”. Except that they haven’t been around long enough to know that many tricks. They are supremely ignorant, petty and highly defensive folks who can turn any intellectual and enlightening conversation into a needless altercation. And what’s more annoying about them, they just don’t have it them to learn from anyone. And don’t waste your breathe trying to talk sense into them. Their minds have been walled off. They are the smarty-pants who feel they must have an answer for everything. Avoid them, or they’ll wear you out.
(8) Ungrateful and Selfish People
I preach self-love and the putting of the self, first but at times, to let the world go round, we may have to make little sacrifices to make other peoples day. For instance, if someone has less money than you and they are in real financial need, nothing stops you from helping them out. But what happens when, instead of thanking you, they start acting like “you owe them” for even bailing them out. Like the eyes that never tires of seeing, no amount of favors you do such people is ever enough. For every single favor you do, you’ll have to do just another to keep them happy. And it keeps on! They are awfully inconsiderate and oblivious people who impose on your generosity. If you find such people in your life, happily let them go.
(9) People Who Make Excuses
You know what Andy Anderson the New Zealand-born actor said of making excuses? “The origin of every excuse is the failure to do something”. And regretfully, nearly all who indulge in this habit fail to realize this. All people who trade on excuses are infected with a self-diagnosed ailment I call “excusetis”. Very often, they might know why their lives aren’t the way they want, and rather than take decisive action to change it, they resort to the juvenile behavior of blaming everything outside of themselves for their disappointments. They might quit their jobs to start a wrong business, but then when it fails, they let the economy take the fall. Make a bad investment call, lose their life earnings and then blame the greedy wolves of the stock market. Pick the wrong career, curse minimum wage. Start a bad relationship, blame their significant other for not being the One. In every failure, they always look for someone or something to scapegoat. Watch out for anyone with this maddening habit as the blame game is quite transferable.
(10) People Who are Wasteful with Money
Habits they tell us can be learned and unlearned as well. Likewise if you spend too much time with anyone with poor spending habits, you could pick up their habits and play ducks and drakes with what little money you have. So don’t take that chance having them around. You are better off not being friends with anyone who could teach you how to spend yourself broke.
Think we’ve missed something? Then do leave your thoughts in the comments section below.