People are an asset, and some are a liability. And depending on which ones you have as friends, you might be increasing or endangering your chances of success and happiness in life. That’s why it’s so important to surround ourselves with best people and weed out the worst from our lives, because there’s no telling what harm they can do to us.
Here are 10 worst types of people you should always avoid.
(1) People Who Belittle Your Dreams
There are all kinds of people with equally offensive traits that make this list, but there’s a reason why folks who trivialize other people’s dreams top it. I could liken folks with this trait to actual murderers, because, in reality, they act with the same intent – Seeing you hurt. But dream “belittlerers,” as I like to call them, differ from real life murders in the sense that they don’t try to send you to an early grave, but down the dark alley of crippling self-doubt and wilting low self-esteem.
This they do by belittling the very dreams you protect with your life. They are annoyingly unrepentant, scornful and condescending folks who want to shoot down your dreams and kill your aspiring spirit. Usually, they are the highly insecure, under-achieving boasters with infinitesimal dreams who might feel intimidated by your bigger dreams.
And often, this prompts them to put anyone whom they consider “a threat” in their place by attacking their dreams. And if you allow them, they can do a real job on your dreams. Have nothing to do with such people.
(2) People Who Disrespect You.
I had this old sadistic acquaintance who really got a kick out of humiliating any hapless person who had the guts to apply for work at his office. And due to this behavior, none of his employees ever worked for him for more than a month.
Whenever he needed to amuse himself, he would just start making fun of them for no reason and sometimes say some of the harshest things he ever knew before everyone. It was humiliating to have someone talk to you that way. And what a sucker he was. It didn’t really take long for the news to spread around and every job applicant knew better than to apply for job in his firm. Of course people of this kind are often rare to find.
But you might run into the more common types like those who don’t value your time, are rude and insulting, treat you with disdain or laugh at you in public. And let’s not forget the snubs! Convention often preaches you ignore such treatments. But don’t take it lying down. They’ll bruise your ego and if you don’t address it headlong, it might snowball into a perpetual cycle of hate and abuse. If it’s your boss, stand up to them and demand for a better treatment. But if it continues, then it’s pack-up-and-leave time. And what if it’s an acquaintance or a friend? Then do with them as you would a toxic friend.
(3) All Time Wasters
I’d call anyone who doesn’t know the urgency and importance of time and living a “fraud” as is their personal philosophy. You might be surprised at why I’d be so critical of them. It’s simple! They confuse existing with living. But the call of life is a call to live and make every moment count for something, not exist passively.
You have to be in this journey because you have a destination in mind, not for the heck of it. But you only get one real shot at it before you run out of time.
It’s why you have to wake up each day with your own personal compass and spend every hour figuring how you’ll reach port. But quite the opposite, all time wasters operate under the assumption that they’ll get a second chance at living (maybe in another life) and then they go about killing their time.
If you’ve got pals who share this view on life, you had better not get involved with them. Otherwise, you might get infected with their time-wasting habits. It’s contagious!
(4) Those Who Speak ill of Others.
“I’ll speak ill of no man and speak all the good I know of everybody” says Benjamin Franklin. But all gossips would have none of it. No, they’ll speak as they damn well please! Not only do gossips tick all boxes for toxic friends, they can help you lose faith in others with a well-timed slur.
They might feel nervous enough about not confronting you with anything slanderous they’ve heard about you, but they are bold enough to hash it over behind your back. Speak of stabbing someone in the back! If you think they are your allies because you can all sit down and bitch about others, then you are mistaken.
Just so you now, gossips don’t have a moral code and that means the secrets you confide in them are simply fair game. And just as they discuss others with you, your intimate secrets might also be the topic of discussion as soon they can find someone else with “itching ears.” Don’t take up a gossip on their offer to discuss others. Shun them at all cost.
(5) Anyone Who Is Nosy
Dale Carnegie’s masterclass, How to Win Friends and Influence People is unquestionable the all-time go-to bestseller for the timeless advice it offers that’s useful in just about every facet of our daily socialization. In this book, Mr. Carnegie did quite a fantastic job in the way he unveiled our once often masked inward human nature – the desire to feel appreciated. It’s inside every one of us.
You really feel like Somebody when someone gives you their attention or takes an undivided interest in you. But while many of us are using this amazing clue for good, to build more meaningful connections with others, the suckers amongst us are using it too to catch their next victims.
They might ask you nosy, impertinent questions just to flatter you into revealing your deepest secrets, and then use it against you. Just don’t fall for it. If anyone you just met is asking too many intimate details about you, like where you work, how much you make, and your other Very personal details, don’t mistake them for great conversationalists. For all we know, they might just be out to steal your identity. Run for it!
(6) Avoid Dishonest People
For some time now, there’s been this ongoing debate about whether honesty is always the best policy. But it’s disturbing that we would consider anything else as an option to being honest. Perhaps, it’s a reflection of our slipping moral values as people are becoming less and less concerned with speaking the truth than with telling lies.
But I think the ongoing debate about whether honesty is the best policy starts on the wrong premise. It should rather be about whether we should ever consider dishonesty as a policy. We each have a right to be told the truth however unpleasant.
Dishonest people disregard this sacred right of ours when they choose to create multiple versions of the truth and then tell us the one they feel is most convenient. Wherever you find them, dishonest people often make the worst people. In friendships, they are disloyal, in relationships, they lie and cheat and in the workplace, they steal from their employers. If you run into such people, just look the other way.
(7) Close Minded People
Well, these folks fit the age-old proverb of “can’t teach an old dog a new trick.” Except that they haven’t been around long enough to know that many tricks. They are supremely ignorant, petty and highly defensive folks who can turn any intellectual and enlightening conversation into a needless altercation. And what’s more annoying about them, they just don’t have it them to learn from anyone. Don’t waste your breathe trying to talk sense into them. Their minds have been walled off. They are the smarty-pants who feel they must have an answer for everything. Avoid them, or they’ll wear you out.
(8) Ungrateful and Selfish People
I preach self-love and the putting of the self first sometimes, because in order to let the world go round, we may have to make little sacrifices to make other people’s day. For instance, if someone has less money than you and they are in real financial need, nothing stops you from helping them out. But what happens when, instead of thanking you, they start acting like “you owe them” for even bailing them out? Like the eyes that never tires of seeing, no amount of favors you do such people is ever enough. For every single favor you do, you’ll have to do just another to keep them happy. And it keeps on! They are awfully inconsiderate and oblivious people who impose on your generosity. If you find such people in your life, happily let them go.
(9) People Who Make Excuses
You know what Andy Anderson, the New Zealand-born actor, said of making excuses? “The origin of every excuse is the failure to do something.” And regretfully, nearly all who indulge in this habit fail to realize this. All people who trade on excuses are infected with a self-diagnosed ailment I call “excusetis.”
Too often, they might know why their lives aren’t the way they want, but rather than take decisive action to change it, they resort to the juvenile behavior of blaming everything outside of themselves for their disappointments. They might quit their jobs to start a wrong business, but then when it fails, they let the economy take the fall or make a bad investment call, lose their life earnings and then blame the greedy wolves of the stock market.
They might pick the wrong career but then curse minimum wage for their low pay or tart a bad relationship, and blame their significant other for not being the One. In every failure, they always look for someone or something to scapegoat. Watch out for anyone with this maddening habit as the blame game is quite transferable.
(10) People Who are Wasteful with Money
Habits they tell us can be learned and unlearned as well. Likewise if you spend too much time with anyone with poor spending habits, you could pick up their habits and play ducks and drakes with what little money you have. So don’t take that chance having them around. You are better off not being friends with anyone who could teach you how to spend yourself broke.
Think we’ve missed something? Then do leave your thoughts in the comments section below.